It’s Knitting. Is it Feminism?

The talk was about yarn and third-wave feminism when New Haven ​“Stitch N Bitch”-ers got together for their twice-weekly gathering at a local coffee shop.

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Dropping. Purling. Bars. Seams. Row gauge. These are the words flung around in a corner of a local coffee shop on this weeknight among a group of New Haven knitters, otherwise known as ​“Stitch N Bitchers.”
These crafty women confess to dreams, nightmares, and sleeplessness over knitting. They’re kind souls; one has helped a displaced New Orleans knitter find a knitting group in Baton Rogue, where her parents live. Trust them: when you’re with these Stitch N Bitch-ers, you’re among pros.
Karen Unger of New Haven, acknowledged as the group’s ​“fearless leader”, organized Stitch N Bitch New Haven online uniting several disparate knitting groups with one click. Now between 10 and 30 women of all ages and lifestyles gather from 7 to 9 p.m. on Wednesdays at Au Bon Pain in downtown New Haven and on Thursdays at Panera over the border in North Haven. They knit and talk about politics, books, television, and the ​“third-wave feminism” they supposedly embody.
But most of the time, they’re talking about yarn. A weekly meeting among these self-described knitting ​“addicts” and ​“obsessives” feels like an assembly of experts and technicians. This could be a meeting of musicians, or auto mechanics or football players. But instead of talking shop about tools and events in the shop or on the field, they’re dropping yarnisms about what’s going on in their laps.
Marla Serapiglia, who’s 29, learned how to knit from her grandmother when she was a little girl. She naturally turned against this skill in high school, to be rebellious. Then she was shopping and saw a scarf she loved.
​“It was ridiculously priced. I said —ÀúI can do this.’ I picked up the newest book I could find, which happened to be Stitch N Bitch, got myself some needles, got myself some yarn, and just remembered how to do it.”
Stitch N Bitch knitting how-to books, penned by Debbie Stoller (her new book on crochet, The Happy Hooker, is coming soon), have inspired many groups like New Haven’s. But not everyone is down with Stoller’s ​“let’s‑reclaim-girly-activities-for-feminists” mantra.

None Dare Call it Feminism?

“I don’t think that knitting is a girly thing, and to try to reclaim it as a girly thing is discriminating against the men who do it,” says Lauren Lax, the group’s ​“speed queen” (she has fast hands) and a PhD candidate in economics at Yale.
​“Besides, way back when, it was the men who did the knitting, not the women,” adds Shirley Lege, one of the group’s more experienced knitters, and the queen of sock-knitters, who works in customer service by day. ​“On a lot of the e‑mail groups I belong to there are men knitters.”
Her socks, black with multi-colored stripes, are extraordinary.
​“One time I was in Michael’s [a yarn store] and there was a man there buying yarn right there with all of us women,” she notes.
Although male knitters have frequented the group before, they rarely stay long enough to enjoy the intimacy and friendship, or the passion for knitting, that bind these women. The women work on multiple projects at once. (Many pursue a ​“hard” and an ​“easy” pattern at the same time.) They make constant reference to each other’s past and present projects. Tonight the discussion often turns to holiday ideas; even though it’s only late September, several women have already started in on holiday presents for friends and relatives.
​“The thing is, no matter how much they gush over it, they’re not going to spend even a tenth of the time gushing that you spent knitting,” Lax says with a laugh, eyes intensely focused on the work in her hands.
Stitch N Bitch-ers may not call what they do a form of feminism. I do. Pretty much all the time, the knitters are exclusively women. They’re doing their own thing —” their own knitting, intense and solitary —”- yet doing it in a group setting. They support each other; they speak their minds. I personally have never felt so safe, relaxed, welcome to talk about whatever, than in this group for those two hours.

Taking a Shot
At a Celebrity Knitter

The patterns the knitters pursue may come from books or magazines or the internet. Help is available online as well, through the many knitting blogs that members of the group both read and write. A few of their favorites include Yarn Harlot and Wendy Knits!, although more than one SnB New Haven member protests that Wendy writes too much about her cats and ​“is kind of a fake knitter.”
​“She thinks row gauge doesn’t matter! None of her sweaters fit her!” says Lax.
​“If you don’t have row gauge, your sleeves are not going to fit,” Lege adds.
Of course, it’s easy to criticize ​“celebrity knitters” like Wendy from the safety of Panera. The stakes may change when the New Haven knitters meet her, and other famous knitting bloggers, at the New York State Sheep and Wool Festival coming up in October. Many SnB New Haven members plan to attend together. Unger recalls that at one festival past, members saw a knitter make a piece of clothing as the wool she used was simultaneously spun off of a living bunny rabbit.
All are looking forward to the trip. Some will travel together; some will bring their friends or living companions. ​“And a caring husband is when you go on vacation, and he will look for a yarn store,” says Lege.
To get involved in New Haven Stitch N Bitch, visit the website or show up at Au Bon Pain, 1 Broadway, downtown New Haven, on Wednesday nights, or at Panera, 32 Universal Drive No., North Haven, on Thursday nights. Both nights the meetings run from 7 to 9 p.m.