Caitlin Emma Photo
Chua and to her right, daughter Sophia.
Lee Jiaen didn’t know what a “Tiger Mom” was before she went to play tennis Tuesday night. She found herself relating to one before the night was over.
Amy Chua, a Yale law professor from Westville and author of last year’s controversial memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, visited Jiaen, who’s 11, and other girls at Yale’s Cullman-Heyman Tennis Center. She spoke for the “Tennis for Girls Only” group — a program created by New Haven Youth Tennis and Education program. Girls ages 11 to 14 play tennis for about an hour once a week and then participate in a self esteem-building exercise after practice.
Most of the girls hadn’t previously heard of Chua or the firestorm her memoir ignited last year. She became widely known as the “Tiger Mother” after the Wall Street Journal published an excerpt of her book titled, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” (Chua said she didn’t pick the title.)
A Chinese-American raised by strict Chinese immigrants, Chua wrote in her book about the benefits of raising children with a firm hand — meaning no play dates, no computer, no TV and hours of studying and musical practice.
Jiaen said her family came to the U.S. when she was 3 years old.
“My cousins have to study like that,” she told Chua. “Sometimes I ask my mom if there’s a job I can do, and she tells me to go play the piano.”
Chua’s book and her parenting style has received criticism for being too harsh. Chua’s daughter, Sophia, came to the tennis center with her mom Tuesday night and insisted that growing up with her mom “wasn’t that bad.”
“I started to realize that I was growing up a little different from other kids,” Sophia said. “From fifth through eighth grade, I played about two to three hours of piano every day. I didn’t spend a lot of time with my friends.”
But all of that practice allowed Sophia to play piano at the Juilliard School in New York on the weekends and on professional American and international stages. She’s now a freshman at Harvard University, following in her mother’s undergraduate footsteps.
Sophia said she feels like her mother has given her all the tools to succeed.
“One of my mom’s favorite lines is, ‘You don’t know what your best is,’” Sophia said. “And I’ll say, ‘But I tried my best!’ But no, you can always do better.”
Each girl held the latest copy of Newsweek. Chua wrote the cover story—a profile of four female tycoons from China who built themselves up from utter poverty.
Chua signs copies of Newsweek.
Claira Janover, 14, said she read the Newsweek story with her mom. She called Chua’s accomplishments inspiring. She she enjoyed learning about how different some families can be.
Anisha Jain agreed.
“I think she’s an incredible woman,” Jain said. She said she liked how Chua talked about her own parents and how she decided to raise her children.
Chua also drew a crowd of parents and Yale tennis members, who asked questions about her book, the inspiration behind it and the fallout.
“I’ve been called the worst mom in the world,” Chua said. “I’ve received death threats.”
Chua explained that she wrote her memoir in a time of crisis — her daughter Louisa, 13 years old at the time, was rebelling in a big way. Chua’s sister had also been diagnosed with leukemia and was undergoing a bone marrow transplant.
“It felt like everything was falling apart,” Chua said. “It made me ask myself, ‘Did I do everything wrong?’”
One part of her memoir in particular drew heavy criticism. Chua wrote about how her daughter Louisa was struggling with a complicated piano piece and fought Chua back about practicing. Chua said she forced her to practice for hours with no breaks, not even for the bathroom, until Louisa got it down. When Louisa finally did, that moment served as a breakthrough — then and now.
“To this day, when Louisa feels like she can’t do something, she said she remembers that moment and realizes she can do anything,” Chua said.