Mayor Elbows makes Lenora Garvey an offer.
Following is the final installment of a fictional serial. About a fictional mayoral campaign. In a fictional city. With fictional characters.
(Click here, here, here, here, here and here for previous installments.)
Repeat: This is fiction.
- * * *
A wave of bacon-grease fumes whacked Lenora as she opened the cloudy glass door to Alfredo’s Luncheonette. Lenora looked at her watch: 8:25. Mayor Elbows asked to meet her at 8:30 sharp. He said they’d have only 20 minutes: The inauguration was set to begin at the new firehouse around the corner at 10 a.m., and they needed hizzoner there an hour early.
This time Lenora resolved to get there first, start the conversation more in control than she had felt at Consuela’s. That supper seemed like years ago, not just a couple of months. Life had returned to normal since the election. Lenora recovered quickly from the embarrassment of capturing only 15 percent of the vote. A couple of the more hopeful octogenarian Republicans were convinced that she’d made history, resuscitated the party, by actually winning one out of 30 wards. All in all, she’d had fun, made new friends, acquired an instant education in the goings on of her new city. She settled down to a comfortable pace working at the bank during the day, catching up on reading and checking out the city’s vibrant theater scene at night with Abby. Abby insisted she hadn’t been hiding her father’s identity from Lenora. “It never seemed important to mention,” she said. There was no reason to doubt her, not given how easily they seemed to be falling in love.
Lenora sat at one of Alfredo’s seven formica tables. Only one other seat was occupied, at the table beside hers. The diner sitting there had his face buried behind a copy of that morning’s Tribune.
Lenora hadn’t seen the paper yet. She noticed a front-page headline just under the “Happy 2008!” banner: “Foosball Construction Gets City Contract. Will Build Downtown Bowling Alley.”What was Reverend Lumber’s line? Another day. Surviving in the city.
“Hello, Lenora. It’s been a while. How’re tricks?”
Mayor Elbows put down his paper, raised his coffee cup, and gestured for Lenora to travel the seven inches to his table
“Alfredo!” Elbows called toward the grill. “A bacon-cheese-and-egg special for my friend here, and a health special for me.”
Friend? Lenora wondered to herself.
To Elbows she said, “I wouldn’t have guessed this place would have a ‘health special.’”
“Iceberg lettuce and canned grapefruit slices, mostly,” Elbows responded with a wink. “That’s why I ordered you the bacon-cheese. Al’s forte. Besides placing football bets.”
Lenora decided to let Elbows set the pace again, after all. This breakfast meeting was his idea. This was his city. She’d learned that.
Al appeared within what seemed like seconds with Lenora’s steaming, fragrant dish and the mayor’s limp tribute to trim waistlines.
“More coffee, mayor?” Al growled
It was a friendly growl. Elbows shook his head no and thanked him.
“Quite a sandwich,” Lenora told Elbows after her first bite. She meant it. “You do know where to eat in this town.”
Elbows acknowledged the compliment with a nod
“So here’s the deal,” he said. “Miles Joyner gets to make a speech at the inauguration today. I can’t take that away from him. He’s my city clerk. It’s the only real moment of work he gets to do the entire term . The job’s a no-show patronage position, ticket-balancing. So he’s going to introduce me from the stage at the firehouse.”Lenora had no idea where this was going.
“Miles makes the most of the occasion. So bring your IPod or a good book.
“Then I’m going to announce that we’re building three new firehouses…”
But for one involuntary twitch, Lenora kept a straight face. Elbows checked, then continued.
“… and I need a trusted public servant to monitor the construction project. So I’m naming Miles Joyner to the position. To make sure the public’s money is well spent. You Republicans believe in that, right?”
This time he had a twinkle in his eye. Not endearing like Binyomin Basar’s twinkle. Friendly nonetheless.
“I’m announcing his new appointment right after his speech. Then I’m hoping to announce his replacement as city clerk.”
Was this supposed to be interesting?
“What do you think?” Elbows asked Lenora.
“About what? I don’t know Miles Joyner.”
“No. About the job! City clerk! You can do a lot with it. We’re going to make it a real job: I’m going to assign you the task of using the information collected by the clerk’s office to track down real-estate flippers, slumlords, unscrupulous lenders…”
“That sounds like work for Ralph Nader, not a free-marketeer.”
“To me,” Elbows said, “it sounds like just the kind of medicine called for in your campaign. I thought you made a good point.”
“Let me get this straight,” Lenora said, forgetting about her bacon and cheese. “You’re offering me a job?”
“I know. It pays only $50,000. But it’s ‘half-time’. It has full health benefits. No one checks your coming and going. You’d still have time for the job at the bank. The clerk’s office runs itself. You can do meaningful work, follow through on the concerns you hammered me on all fall. You seemed to enjoy getting to know the city, being in the mix. You’ll meet a lot more people in this job. It’s a front-row seat.”
Was this a trap? Lenora didn’t know what to think. The mayor didn’t give her time to think.
“Let me sweeten the pot. All those parking tickets for your Hummer? Gone.
“Tomorrow we’re opening a new city account at RegionTrust. The Luxembourg people will love you. They know politics pays.
“And in two weeks the city librarian’s retiring. I’m naming a replacement…”
“Colores?”
“She already said yes. So how about you?”
Lenora’s head spun with questions. Was Colores the one feeding Elbows information about the campaign all along?
“Why,” Lenora asked the mayor, “are you offering me all this? It’s not like I cleaned your clock on election day.”
“You ran a good race. You held back from being nasty, for the most part. You played by the rules. And you’re obviously a smart, talented woman. We can always use more of that here.”
The talent pool in this city must be shallow indeed, Lenora thought. And the universe of potential political threats practically empty.
“Plus,” Elbows added, “I hate losing a precinct. I want you where I can watch you. So what do you say?”
“I don’t know,” Lenora said, carving circles with her fork into the remnants of her egg and cheese patty. “I don’t know.”
Elbows narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be waiting for something. An ask?
“Your office sometimes rents out eating clubs when it hosts visiting delegations, doesn’t it?” Lenora asked, her voice tentative.
Elbows’ face lit up. “Of course! Wheelock’s! You got it.” He scribbled a note on his napkin. “Frank’s on it. I can think of no better way to feed our visitors!”
“Ms. Garvey,” he said, shoving the napkin in his pocket, then extending his hand. “I think we have a deal. You learned something this fall, didn’t you?”
Lenora shook the mayor’s hand.
“Now I have an inauguration to run to. I’ll call you up to speak when the time comes. Your seat is besides Abby’s in the front row. She and her father are already there.”
Abby’s father? She hadn’t mentioned he was in town.
“And I believe your escort has arrived.”
There, outside the door, Lenora spotted the row of parked mopeds. She exited to find Binyomin grinning and motioning for her to walk alongside him. She didn’t bother asking him how he knew she was there. Or where she was headed.
“Congratulations, Madame Clerk!” Binyomin greeted her. “Did you hear about our precinct’s new firehouse? It’s going to be a beauty!”
- * * *
Date: Tuesday, Jan. 1, 2008
From: destiny.ramirez@stateuniversity.edu
To: becky.hatcher@stateuniversity.edu
Subject: plans have changed
beck u are gonna kill me. no your not. you are gonna be so happy. im so happy!
u know how i said id see you next week back in the dorms? well… plans have changed. again.
i know: i can’t do this to you. i already flaked out last semester. i know! i know!
please forgive me beck…
but beck i met this amazing guy. he takes some getting used to. he creeped me out at first, big time.
i met him on the campaign. he wasnt part of the campaign exactly. more like he stalked the campaign. he taught me how to find out all kinds of secret information. hes brilliant! and he used to be an actor. not to mention a revolutionary. he has his own tv show (ok, public access) and his own underground newspaper. u know how i love actors. he has a little “substance abuse” problem. but hes working on it. serious. in rehab.
i melt when he calls me “sister.”
anyway the campaign’s over. it was so exciting. especially the getting to know bugs part.
beck u will love bugs, promise. and u will meet him soon. promise.
bugs is gonna take me on the road. cross country. in his retro subaru. he says i saw just a little bit of the “big picture” on this campaign. its so exciting when he talks like that, u dont even really know what hes saying, at least not at first. but it all adds up somehow.
im embarrassed to tell u how much money they paid me this fall. it was worth it. i learned a lot. uncle elbows won as u know. hes gonna be in the history books.
as for me there may be some history in the making too…
i hope it’s the greatest semester ever for you beck. see you next fall. i mean it.hugs, dest
Previous Installments:
GOP Finds Mayoral Candidate
Garvey Finds An Issue
Rendezvous For Destiny
A 3‑Alarm Protest
Dinner With Elbows
Precinct 24 Turns Out