Allan Appel Photo
New parents-to-be Espinoza and Colon.
Green, grey, brown, and generally mutely colored diaper bags that look more like your basic backpack.
Some cool digital thermometers.
And, of course the de rigueur yellow rubber ducky that transcends all genders.
Little pink was in sight Friday afternoon as a gender-neutral community baby shower with a focus on the fathers-to-be unfolded at 50 Grand Ave. The event was held at the River Run Housing community room and hosted by the Fair Haven Community Health Care (FHCHC), where many of the future fathers are enrolled in the extensive pre-natal family programming.
The gender-neutral diaper bag and contents.
Nine future dads and their partners — including expecting parents Jonathan Espinoza and Jennifer Colon — enjoyed pizza, cupcakes, and, to the dads’ considerable surprise, the gifts of backpacks crammed with socks, thermometers, books, onesies, wipes, and diapers galore.
They have all been preparing for the upcoming births of their children, with the Espinoza-Colon baby due next month, by not only going for regular pre-natal health check ups at the FHCHC’s facility at 50 Grand, but also participating in groups focused on dads — what they’re going to face, how to be a good father, and outlets for expressing concerns and anxieties.
Why is the second annual Fair Haven community baby shower giving an emphasis this year to dads?
Roman holds the rubber ducky and United Way’s Beth Pellegrino other contributed essentials.
“The statistics show that dads leave within the first three months” if they’re going to abandon a family, said Yaritza Roman who helps coordinate the pre-natal groups at the FHCH. “So involving dads in pre-natal care increases the likelihood he’ll remain connected to baby.”
The other local groups running pre-natal programs with dads participating include New Haven Healthy Start and the Nurturing Families Network. All the baby supplies were assembled with the help of the corporate sponsors of the United Way of Greater New Haven.
Twenty-four-year-old Espinoza, who works with his father in asbestos removal and demolition, said he’s been learning many lessons from the groups to prepare for fatherhood. Chief among them is to be different from his own dad, who used to lose his temper a lot and assert his authority, often without listening first, Espinoza said.
Dawson, with the baby wash.
“It’s about being there and listening. It was easy for me to catch on,” he reported.
Frank Dawson, at 18 the youngest father in the group, also said he wished his father had been a better communicator. He’s not close with his own father now, but in touch.
When he told him a child is on the way and it’s going to be a boy, “he was excited,” Frank said. In no small part that’s because the father to be is Frank IV. And the baby to come will be Frank V. “Keep it going,” he said.
Team Dad with Dawson, Espinoza, Kenneth Rodriguez, Harris Gore, and Pedro Hernandez.
After lunch, the dads went out back and took a dads-to-be photo to express their excitement about fatherhood. The group in the photo looked like young men on a winning sports team.
United Way would like to expand community baby showers, with the focus on fathers, to other towns in the Greater New Haven area. That depends on finding the money, said Pellegrino, the group’s community impact director.