Silence Broken On Mental Health

Baron ​“Von Leek” felt nervous at the prospect of talking to others about mental illness for years, he said as rain poured from the sky.

An hour later, sunshine surprised Jocelyn Square Park — and Von Leek found himself rapping about his self-diagnosed schizophrenia to a moved audience of mental health activists and stigma-breakers.

Von Leek’s performance was part of the annual New Haven Mental Health Awareness Day Fair, an event convened on Saturday afternoon by Aryella Edwards. 

Edwards had organized the first iteration of the fair last year as part of CARE’s New Haven Health Leader program, and CARE decided to co-sponsor the event again this year. The event drew a group of community activists, performers, care providers, and business owners invested in breaking cultural silences about mental health.

Unfazed by a rainstorm at the start of the event, attendees spent the afternoon sharing stories of anxiety attacks, post-partum depression, police violence, transitions out of prison, and cycles passed down through generations of keeping emotional challenges a secret.

They also shared personal antidotes for difficult days, including body butter, therapy, herbal tea, and — most commonly — talking through heavy emotions.

“Talk it out,” 9‑year-old Sarya Provite said as clouds gathered over Jocelyn Square.

Moments later, when a cathartic burst of rain poured down, Provite and a handful of other kids modeled another form of self-care: dancing.

For Von Leek, singing and rapping about his experiences with schizophrenia is one way through the illness’ stigma. ​“It helps me know how to talk about it,” he said.

Onstage on Saturday, he performed an original song called ​“Stuck In My Mind.”

Phyllis Fischer, also known as PhyllisWithaY, belted emotional renditions of ​“Lift Every Voice And Sing” and songs about healing. In between, she spoke of her post-partum depression — during which she turned to spirituality and faith as a guide. ​“I had to do a lot of praying to stay positive,” she said, adding that the Mental Health Awareness Fair marked one of the first times she had embarked on an activity with her family since her post-partum depression began.

Dareesha ​“Sunshine” Hardy arrived on Saturday with her line of all-natural, homemade cosmetics, ​“Sunshine’s Paradox.” She laid out original body creams, lip care, and makeup for sale. The ​“paradox” of her business, she said, is that for her, makeup is less about external beauty than it is about self-worth and motivation.

At the height of her own depression and anxiety, Hardy said, ​“sometimes, all I had was my lipstick.” Lip makeup helped her feel more prepared to take on daunting days. 

A table away, Shanice Little, a self-taught healer and spiritual life coach through her business Little Ol’ Healings, set up an array of herbs and teas tailored specifically for mental wellness, with ingredients like ashwagandha root and lemon balm.

Little uses herbalism, tarot, crystals, and other spiritual practices as a source of healing and self-regulation in her own life. ​“I didn’t realize I was depressed until the pandemic,” Little said. She also discovered she has anxiety. ​“I would notice my heart was always racing, my thoughts were always into the future,” she said.

As participants of the fair exchanged self-care practices, they also discussed the large-scale barriers — from generations of racism to gaps in the mental healthcare system — that make it difficult to maintain mental health.

Isabel Alvarez-Diaz, who is studying ​“community practice” social work and women’s studies at Southern Connecticut State University, hopes to bridge some of the gaps between institution-based counseling and community members who don’t always feel comfortable in medical settings.

Social work and therapy often ​“come from an outside perspective,” she said — pointing specifically to gaps in mental health care access and representation for Black, brown, and queer people. In 2015, only 4 percent of therapists identified as Black across the nation. In 2020, a Trevor Project survey found that 46 percent of queer youth sought out therapy but were unable to access it.

Angel Ogman-Stanley, the event’s emcee, recalled her nephew, Shamar Ogman, whom Hartford police shot and killed during an episode related to Ogman’s mental health. People with severe mental illness — including Mubarak Soulemane, whom a state trooper killed during a schizophrenic episode — are 16 times more likely to experience police violence, according to a 2015 Treatment Advocacy Center report. Ogman-Stanley called for police to undergo more training on handling situations involving people with mental illness.

New Haven Rising and Ice The Beef community organizer Remidy Shareef mentioned the recent mass shootings in Buffalo, N.Y. and Uvalde, Texas — the first of which was perpetrated by a white supremacist who intentionally targeted a supermarket patronized largely by Black customers — along with gun violence right in New Haven. It’s hard to grow up in America without experiencing trauma, Shareef said. ​“We got kids out here dying.”

Each individual story shared on Saturday added up to a resounding message: that anyone struggling with mental health is not alone.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800 – 273-8255; it operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Local mental health care providers include Clifford Beers, Cornell Scott-Hill Health Center, Continuum of Care, and the Yale Child Study Center.