Cora Lewis Photo
Ibrahim and Harp.
The mother of a Muslim student enrolled in a New Haven school, learning that her daughter was depressed, searched her daughter’s diary. She discovered entries about being taunted as “Bin Laden’s daughter” and a “towel head.”
The story was one of several told by New Haven women over over egg salad sandwiches and iced tea, related to the public schools, domestic violence, and other issues in the city’s mayoral election.
The women had come together at the Winthrop Avenue home of Mubarakah Ibrahim, a well-known local fitness trainer and dinner guest of President Obama. The event was called “Moms for Harp” in support of state Sen. Toni Harp’s bid for mayor.
The most heated discussion at the Saturday evening evening concerned diversity and sensitivity training in the public schools.
“Growing up Muslim in America and going to schools was one thing,” Ibrahim said, referring to her own childhood. “But growing up Muslim after 9/11 is completely different. Students have to always be on the defensive.”
“When gay students began killing themselves, the country took notice. We can’t wait for Muslim students to commit suicide to take this seriously,” Ibrahim argued.
Ibrahim cited cartoons and media reports linking Muslims to violence that made their way into the curriculum at her children’s schools. When her kids attended Amistad Academy, there were also no vegetarian alternatives offered for students who didn’t eat meat – whether for religious or moral reasons (though this changed after the publication of a New Haven Register article on the subject).
“Kids would shake the lunch meat in my kids’ faces, taunting them,” she recounted.
Ibrahim added that Sen. Harp helped resolve some of these issues when Ibrahim brought them to her attention. The two sat down with school administrators and teachers to address anti-Islamic sentiments in the classroom and came to some resolutions. Ibrahim also was later asked to give a school presentation on Islam to explain the ideas and philosophy behind her religion.
“I have to deal with that as an administrator as well,” said Khaliah Abdussabur, a public school employee present at the Saturday evening event. “When it came time for my holidays, the school asked me to read a story to the kids explaining what they were. None of the teachers I worked with really knew anything until I came along.”
Abdussabur, who has worked in education and daycare for 27 years, said she agreed that their needs to be more sensitivity training and awareness about the stress levels of Muslim students. She also voiced a desire for more mentorship programs in the city schools, such as trips to take students fishing and on other excursions. “Whatever they need to make them whole,” she said.
“I think there are forgotten minorities in the schools,” said Harp. “We forget that there are not just blacks and Hispanics – but there are many subgroups among these populations.”
Harp mentioned that Connecticut has strong anti-bullying laws that families should be educated about as well. She also said she would like to see universal pre-Kindergarten for 3 and 4‑year-olds in the city, as one specific policy reform to help combat the achievement gap.
Earlier in the evening, discussion turned to high rates of domestic violence in Connecticut and their effects on children. “What you forget is that children are watching that and children model the behavior they see,” Sen. Harp said.
Newhallville Alderwoman Brenda Foskey-Cyrus thanked Sen. Harp for her support of the Grandparent Respite Fund. “When my twins were on the drill team, their uniforms got pretty expensive, and the fund helped,” she said.
The Grandparent Respite Fund allows grandparents to appeal to Connecticut’s probate courts for money to cover certain expenses related to helping raise grandchildren, Harp explained – such as school uniforms or the cost of summer camp.
“If the children went into the DCF [the state Department of Children and Families], they would be costing us $1,500 a month. By raising the children, grandparents are doing the state a favor. So doing something to make things easier for grandparents was a no-brainer,” Harp responded. “It really pays for itself.”