Paul Bass Photo
“I’m a mess,” the woman texted her friend. “If I don’t do anything, things won’t change and they are getting worse. …”
The woman decided not to “do anything.” The next day she was murdered, another victim of domestic violence in Connecticut.
Karen Jarmoc (pictured above), CEO of the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence, read from those texts — written within the past six months — at a City Hall press conference called Tuesday to launch a “Don’t Wait” campaign.
The campaign calls on women facing abuse at home to “do something” — call a confidential 24-hour-a-day hot line at (888) 774‑2900 to get immediate help. So they don’t become the next domestic violence victim.
In New Haven, that help comes through the Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence Services. Susan DeLeon (pictured) said at the press conference that victims have increasingly called for help — around three a day just in the city in New Haven. Many more don’t call, she said. Her agency handles around 7,000 cases a year from 19 Greater New Haven communities, including the Shoreline and the Naugatuck Valley. Statewide the court system handles around 40,000 domestic violence-related cases a year, more than one-third of all criminal cases, according to Jarmoc.
“We are fighting an epidemic,” Mayor Toni Harp declared. She made a comparison to counter-terrorism campaigns: “If we see something, we should say something to protect innocent people from harm.”
Attorney General George Jepsen called for a broader “culture change … so males don’t feel violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.”
“I’m So Terrified”
“We’re trying to show conflicted people feel,” Jarmoc said in reference to the text messages she read aloud at the press conference. She later released this longer version of the text-message exchanges the eventual victim had with a friend the night before the murder:
I am so upset I don’t even know what to do How are you doing? Are you alright?
I’m okay
Do not hesitate to call or come over here if something happens.
You and the kids are always welcome here and I will help you any way I can.
* * * *
He’s messed up
Oh goodness. Do you think he will hurt you?
I have no clue what he will do…
This is going to end with restraining orders and police I’m sure It’s not because of you. Don’t blame yourself
* * * *
I’m a mess, anyway you can get the kids for me?
Can you delete our messages.
If (he) ever got a hold of them I can only imagine what would come out of it.
* * * *
I told him I was SOOOO worried. I still care about (him) more than anything.
I’m really scared.
I can’t tell you how upset I am with what happened to you last night.
I am terrified for you but you need to do what is best for you and your children.
You are the only one that knows what that is.
If I don’t do anything, things won’t change and they are getting worse. If I do something I’m so scared if the unknown.
I feel like I don’t know what I’m walking into so I’m terrified
* * * *
Can you call me when you get a chance?
Oh good thank you!
I’m a mess… It’s like I know what the right choice is but I’m so scared to make it. I haven’t made a decision in my own in so many years. I’m scared I’ll be sad forever I’m sorry I just feel broken right now, I don’t mean to dump things on you at all. You just always have it all together so I look to you sometimes for strength.
If I don’t do anything, things won’t change and they are getting worse.
If I do something I’m so scared of the unknown I feel like I don’t know what I’m walking into so I’m terrified.