New Moms Find Community At The Q

Ashley Brown was having a rough week. The mother of five felt like the world was closing in on her. Then came a call from Chantell Thompson, reminding her of an upcoming session of a new maternal health program run by the nonprofit Mind Blossom each week at the Q House.

“I was tired, but your call made me feel good, it made me want to come,” Brown told Thompson, a facilitator of the program, at the end of a recent 90-minute session.

By then, the seven women and their newborns, along with one pregnant 19-year-old and two others joining by Zoom, had been instructed on how to build, or rebuild, their credit, along with other tools of financial literacy; practiced progressive muscle relaxation techniques; and learned about a host of perinatal mental health challenges, including post-partum depression, chronic stress, and implicit bias within the healthcare system.

The reason for the program, according to Pernille Yilmam, CEO of Mind Blossom, Inc., which provides mental health education and consulting: ​“statistics showing twice as high a rate of perinatal mental health challenges among Black and Brown new and expectant mothers,” she said. 

“If we want to change generations and make an impact in this world, we need to start with the mothers,” added Yilmam, a Danish neuroscientist and mental health advocate who transitioned from academic research to have a more direct impact on the lives of the groups she studied. 

Last Thursday was the fourth session of the inaugural program, which is funded by a private donor and runs 12 weeks. In addition to the 90-minute weekly sessions, it provides the women with Uber vouchers, a monthly stipend, child care, and refreshments. Yilmam is training Thompson, a certified life coach for young single mothers, and another facilitator, Kaussar Rahman, to lead the next cohort. 

“When we address our financial situation, whether it’s paying for food or rent, we know that we actually improve our mental health as well,” Yilmam said, in introducing Monica Buckley of New Haven Bank.

Buckley talked about the importance of credit and ways to rebuild credit. ​“Even if you can’t make the minimum payment on your credit card, pay something because it shows you’re not just ignoring it,” she said, amid a chorus of cooing, babbling, and a screech or two. 

She discussed BankOn, a program that connects state residents with safe and affordable bank accounts with no overdraft fees and a low monthly cost. ​“You’ve had trouble in the past, the past is the past, as long as it’s not fraud,” she said, as some of the participants took notes and others tended to their babies. 

Thompson instructed the group to tense the top half of their bodies, raising their shoulders to their ears, then inhaling and exhaling deeply. ​“Try to use this when you feel your anxiety going up, like you’re on the phone with the gas company and they’re taking too long, or someone at home is causing you stress,” she said. ​“It really helps relax the mind and the body.” 

“Dang, that felt good,” Brown said. 

Yilmam, the leader, then moved on to perinatal mental health challenges. ​“I use the word challenges because that means we can do something about them, they can be treated and managed,” she said.

She talked about the higher likelihood of mental health challenges among Black and Brown women, then asked the group why that was the reality. 

“When you’re pregnant, you’re not supposed to complain, and then when you have your baby, you’re supposed to be happy,” one said. 

“That’s right,” said another. ​“For me, it’s hard to find someone I can trust to talk about what’s happening, y’know, in a real way.” 

“Doctors, they’re the gatekeepers. ​‘We’re going to tell you what you should do,’ and they’re not listening to what we’re saying about how we’re feeling,” said a third. ​“It’s not cookie cutter, we’re all different. We all have different needs.” 

“I think what we’re all talking about is stress,” said Yilmam. ​“We live with insecure housing, insecure food access, maybe we live in an environment where we don’t feel comfortable or safe or supported, maybe we don’t know if we’ll keep our jobs. These are the biggest reasons people develop these mental health challenges.” 

She introduced strategies to combat the challenges. ​“We talked about sleep,” she began.

“Ha!” said Destiny McKenzie, whose two-month-old boy had just squealed. Everybody laughed.

“There’s also nutrition, making sure we eat good food, and several times a day on a consistent schedule,” she continued. ​“There’s making time for movement in our lives, which literally activates your brain and makes you feel better, and then connecting, that’s what we’re doing right here.” 

“That’s it,” said McKenzie, as the session drew to a close. The slide on the projector read:

YOU ARE WORTH IT. 

YOU ARE LOVED. 

YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE. 

“This is where it’s at.”

Brown agreed. ​“It helped me identify what I’m going through, and I’m going through a lot,” she said, adding that she was interested in becoming a facilitator. ​“I want to share my experience with people, and help them through theirs. I’ll be back.”