Mourners Pay Last Respects To Rohn Lawrence At First-Ever Toad’s Place Funeral

The line on York Street went halfway down the block on Monday afternoon as friends and family gathered to bid farewell to New Haven music legend Rohn Lawrence, whose visiting hours and funeral service were held at Toad’s Place, the stage on which he’d performed countless times. 

Lawrence died on Dec. 30 of Covid-19 at the age of 61. On Monday mourners filed through the main floor of Toad’s, where Lawrence lay in state on the stage, flanked by flowers and two of his guitars.

“This is how my brother lived,” said Michelle Lawrence, Rohn’s sister. ​“So this is how I wanted to make sure I sent him off — the way he lived. I know my brother better than anybody in the world, and I knew this is what he would want.”

Toad’s owner Brian Phelps counted Lawrence as a close friend for over 40 years. Lawrence had played there in various ensembles and held down a weekly spot at Lilly’s Pad for over a decade. ​“Rohn was always the guitar master of New Haven. Everyone knew it. The other musicians knew it. They could hear it, from the way he was playing, just the fluidity of it,” Phelps said. ​“He was a great guy, always honest, and I respected him a tremendous amount.”

Michelle was at home in Portsmouth, Va., when she got the news of her brother’s passing.

“I was just shocked,” she said. ​“I’m still shocked.”

She called Phelps to ask if they could hold the funeral at Toad’s. ​“He told he’d be honored to, anything I needed,” she said.

For Michelle, the first consideration was the number of people she expected to come pay their respects. ​“I knew that everybody loved Rohnnie, so there were going to be a million people that wanted to come. There’s no funeral parlor big enough.” The second, and larger, consideration was about how Lawrence had devoted his life to music. 

“Let’s get it done for Rohn, and do it the way he would want it done,” Phelps recalled saying. ​“Rohn’s life was on the stage. So she wanted a music venue to be his way out. This was how he lived his life and it was how she wanted him to leave the world.”

Phelps needed only to provide the space. All other arrangements were handled by Howard K. Hill Funeral Services. Michelle’s foresight had been prescient, as dozens upon dozens of people moved through Toad’s that afternoon to pay their respects.

For many, it was also a chance to see friends and family whom the pandemic had made distant. Animated voices and laughter soon filled the place, as in the best music, mixing with the sorrow.

Among those who came to Toad’s was Robert Paturzo, a lifelong friend of Lawrence. They grew up ​“in each other’s houses” in West Haven. He recalled Lawrence playing not just guitar, but banjo, mandolin, piano, and drums. ​“One of his first performances I saw was in junior high school. They used to have a talent show every year, and by eighth grade parents used to call and ask the school to not let Rohn be in it because he won it every year.” Paturzo remembered Lawrence playing ​“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes.” He won again.

“One of the things he said to me, and to a lot of people, was, ​‘There’s only two kinds of music: good music and bad music.’ He said, If you’re playing a polka and you’re playing it well, doesn’t matter.’ ”

When Lawrence starting performing on Monday nights in New Haven nearly 20 years ago — first at Rudy’s, then Humphries, then Lilly’s Pad — ​“I was there every Monday. I used to say to him, ​‘I’m a second set man, because I’m always late.’ ” Lawrence told him he could always count on him.

Paturzo and Lawrence last spoke the Sunday before he died. ​“He had a gig Sunday, and he called me when he got home. He was having breathing problems. I said, ​‘Don’t mess around with this; it’s serious.’ In my heart I think Rohn knew there was something wrong with him, though we’ll never know.

Another attendee Monday was Philip Bynum of Cool Breeze Music in the Parks, who recalled Lawrence as a ​“friend, musician, legend, and my brother.” He helped bring Lawrence to a wider audience in New Haven through concerts on the Green. ​“Every show I do from now on I’m going to leave a stool onstage for him,” Bynum said.

Bynum and Lawrence were childhood friends. They played in a band together as middle school students in West Haven, back when Lawrence ​“wanted to be a Harlem Globetrotter,” Bynum said with a laugh. They were all aspiring musicians, but ​“Rohnnie just stuck with it. He just kept taking it to the next level.” Bynum watched with admiration at the life Lawrence carved out for himself with music. ​“When you get George Duke saying, ​‘That’s my protege,’ you’re on top of the world,” Bynum said. ​“When I went down to North Carolina and saw my best friend playing on stage with Boney James, that meant the world to me.”

“For myself and for the rest of the New Haven musical community, we lost a family member,” said musician Jay Rowe. Rowe and Rohn met when they were students at Educational Center of the Arts. They ended up playing together for 42 years, including a show with saxophonist Marion Meadows at Mohegan Sun in which Lawrence jumped in on drums when the regular drummer was late. When the drummer arrived, Lawrence took a drum solo, let the drummer sneak in behind him, then threw on his guitar and played a ​“blazing solo.”

“If that isn’t a showbiz moment, I don’t know what is,” Rowe said with a laugh.

Rowe recalled Lawrence being able to play songs by ear for the first time, and ​“give an amazing performance right out of the box.” He recalled another story of Lawrence walking into a record store in Japan, where the person behind the counter was coincidentally trying to learn one of Lawrence’s guitar solos off a recent record he’d released. ​“The basic concepts of his playing were in place by the time he was 19,” Rowe said. ​“Just having such a great sense of melody. He phrased like a vocalist. He was one of the most expressive guitar players ever. His whole sound was unique. You knew it was him the second you heard him. He was one of those kinds of players.”

To Rowe’s ears, Lawrence’s playing only got better and better as he played more, and more styles of music. ​“He couldn’t help but get better,” Rowe said. One of Rowe’s favorite Lawrence performances was on one of Rowe’s own compositions, ​“Old Friends,” which he wrote for Lawrence.

Rowe’s last gig with Lawrence was on Dec. 23, in Hartford. ​“The last conversation we had, we were talking about a couple recording projects we were going to do. We were looking toward the future for sure.” 

“My life wouldn’t have been the same if I had not met him,” he added. ​“He’s leaving a permanent impression on the music scene in New Haven and all over the world. His music and his spirit will live on forever.”

Call-in hours were followed by a short evening service at Toad’s for family and friends, which will be recorded for those who were unable to attend.