Maya McFadden photo
SAGA's Shane Emery, Drake Ortiz, Colton, Jacob Smith, and Pete Solomon.
Amid the sometimes “rocky waves” of work and class and a tough time at home, Drake Ortiz has found a refuge in Sound School’s Sexuality and Gender Alliance (SAGA) — where they and their high-school peers can be themselves and talk about everything from their favorite movies to queer-friendly field trips to how best to prevent bullying of younger students.
Drake is one of a dozen students who make up Sound’s SAGA, which many described during a recent biweekly group meeting as a home away from home.
Last Friday, SAGA members gathered after school at the aquaculture-themed regional magnet school’s Foote building at 60 South Water St. to discuss upcoming events and new club merchandise plans. The meetup also served as an opportunity to just hang out with friends in a safe, supportive space.
“It’s been very hard for me, and SAGA has really helped me with just getting along,” Drake told this reporter after Friday’s get-together.
Drake, a senior at Sound School, said due to Covid they did not get the chance to attend SAGA meetings and therefore had to wait until they and other students returned to school in person last year, which wasn’t until their junior year.
“I was failing for the first two semesters and actually I wasn’t on track to graduate,” they said about their senior year so far. Drake said they’ve now caught up in their academics and plan to graduate this year.
Drake added that their senior year has been “rough” due to working and issues at home that “make it difficult to focus in school.” SAGA and its community of support have time and again helped get them through those tough stretches.
“I’ve had so many times when I get to go places and see people who I don’t feel afraid to be myself around,” they said. “SAGA has just always been there for me during the rocky waves.”
Icebreakers & Field Trips
Friday’s gathering was the first time the group had met since the first week of February.
For the first half hour of the meeting, students mingled as a group, answering ice breaker questions. Then they briefly discussed plans for upcoming community events.
SAGA is facilitated by Sound School teachers Peter Solomon and Shane Emery, who were both in attendance during the Friday meeting.
“I feel that this group is incredibly significant and has helped a tremendous amount of students feel accepted, heard, and recognized,” Emery said. “The group exists to simply give students who identify as being part of the LGBTQ+ community a safe place to express themselves, have questions answered, and to find a place where they feel a sense of belonging.”
To kick off the meeting, two questions were pulled out of a box filled with icebreaker activities and suggestions.
“Favorite cartoon and/or anime?” Drake asked the group. Their own response? My Little Pony.
Each student answered while tossing around a green stuffed penguin labeled as the SAGA “talking buddy.” Students named favorites like Tom and Jerry, Adventure Time, The Simpsons, The Owl House, Attack on Titan, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Hey Arnold.
Mentions of several shows turned into discussions of favorite characters and episodes as the group learned more about each other and some fostered deeper connections.
Next, Drake asked a second question of the group: “What’s the best movie?”
Responses included Avatar, Forrest Gump, The Book of Life, Spirited Away, Breakfast Club, Grease, Night at the Museum, Dr. Dolittle, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, The Princess Bride, Rio, Alex Strangelove, and Beetlejuice.
Later in the meeting the students and staff played a game called Desert Island.
Following the meeting’s leisurely conversations, the SAGA members next got an update from Emery on upcoming spring event opportunities that the group can participate in.
Emery updated the students that transportation has been secured for interested SAGA members to attend the Valley Pride Conference at Ansonia High school on Friday April 28.
“Just like any other field trip, no matter if it’s for a class or not, you need to be in good academic standing to be able to go,” Emery said.
As Emery discussed the lineup of events, a sign up sheet was passed around the room for students to add their names.
Also on the list of events is the Pride Center Youth Conference at Southern Connecticut State University on May 25 and 26.
Next was the Connecticut Gay Men’s Chorus’ upcoming BingoMania event that will be held at The Annex Y.M.A. Club on March 18. SAGA members signed up to attend and noted down baked goods they plan to make to fundraise for the club.
Discussions tabled for SAGA’s next meeting were about the school’s annual Waterfront Festival in June, Day of Silence in April, choices for the club’s new merchandise, and a possible SAGA Easter event.
"Being Queer In North Haven Wasn't The Best"
After the meeting, some students stuck around to talk with this reporter about the school year so far and the impact of SAGA on their young lives. They also shared their personal experiences in middle and high school as LGBTQ youth.
Jacob Smith, a junior at Sound School, said he enjoys Sound’s diversity, “peace,” and dedicated and welcoming teaching staff.
Senior Colton agreed that Sound has been a safe haven especially compared to previous schools he’s attended.
Colton, who attended North Haven Middle School, said his school was deeply rooted in Christian and Catholic values that he found did not support LGBTQ people.
When Colton, who now identifies as transgender, came out as lesbian in middle school, his school community made him uncomfortable and treated him as an outcast.
While in middle school Colton also created a Diversity Club “because gay club was a little too controversial,” he said. When his club did a Day of Silence it received a “massive outlash.”
“It was the parents saying we didn’t know what we were talking about,” he said.
He was then forced out of his own club, he added.
“Being queer in North Haven wasn’t the best, everywhere you turned there was externalized homophobia,” he said.
When Colton came to Sound he said his peers were more open and the smaller school community “helps to introduce to people that everyone is different” and gives you the chance to meet others.
“I came here just totally bewildered because it was like, ‘Hey, people are talking to me now,’ ” Colton said.
When Colton came out as trans his sophomore year, he said some of his peers struggled with using his correct pronouns. “It’s a big struggle that hurts,” he recalled.
“But other than that no one has really asked me about it, they just kind of accepted it compared to when I said I liked girls and everyone came at me in North Haven,” he said. “You are your own person at Sound.”
Colton said he didn’t have any friends while attending school in North Haven.
“In North Haven I was the weirdest kid ever. I was the bottom of the food chain. I was the one kid that everyone would avoid and everyone would laugh at and I knew they were laughing at me and so I played into it,” he said.
When asked about if they feel their middle school experiences would have differed if their middle school had a Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA), four students said: Yes.
SAGA member Eli said when he came out in sixth grade, several of his peers and “other people who didn’t feel as supported came out to me so I could use their pronouns and names correctly.”
“If we actually had a group or club it would have made it a lot better and people would have felt safer,” he said.
Drake agreed and said when they came out as gender fluid in the 7th grade at Clinton Avenue School they faced backlash from their peers and was told they were faking it. This caused Drake to “retract my statement.” Once getting to high school, they came out again.
When Drake attempted to start a GSA in middle school they were told “absolutely not” and an administrator threatened to call their parents.
“It would have been really really nice to have a GSA in middle school. If I was given the chance to just be confident in middle school everything would have been so much easier,” they said. “I would have been more confident in myself and it was like starting all over again in high school.”
SAGA member and senior Amanda, who attended John C. Daniels School, recalled “not being able to be anything except the smart book worm kid.”
“If anything happened that changed that up, I was dead. I wouldn’t have made it out of middle school alive, I was already the weird book worm kid,” Amanda said.
“When I started having these feelings I was terrified because all my life I’ve been told that’s wrong, that’s not what you’re suppose to be, you’re suppose to be this, so I was like, what’s wrong with me,” Amanda said. “It wasn’t until I got to high school and I started seeing people like me. I was like, ‘Wait, I can be this and still be happy? I can be this and not be stuck In that miserable little box?’ ”
“This place basically told me, ‘You don’t have to be what everyone tells you you need to be. You can be your own person.’ So if I had that in middle school, I would have been a lot more happier. I would have discovered a lot more about myself a lot sooner,” Amanda said.
Jacob attended West Haven’s Carrigan Intermediate School and Bailey Middle School and said he was excluded from social activities throughout middle school.
In 7th grade Jacob told his mom he had a crush on a boy and because she accepted him he then came out to his school and was not met with the same acceptance.
This caused him to also retract his statement so people would stop asking him questions, he said.
When he arrived at Sound, Jacob came out again as bisexual.
“Having a GSA to teach those kids how to navigate would have made it a lot easier for me,” he said. “Sound was like a brand new paradise for me and it was just so easy for me to talk to people and be social.”
Colton added that GSAs should be introduced in middle school because that’s when bullying begins. He added that when introducing GSAs to a school, the school community should actively work to remove stigmas around GSAs.
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