Children today must endure and conquer a lot of stress, and that sometimes leads beyond normal teen angst to violent behavior and emotional and mental problems, a panel of mental-health professionals said.
The most important thing for parents to know is that they are not alone — there is help available to everyone, the four panelists told host N’Zinga Shani during the latest episode of her monthly 21st Century Conversations” show on Citizens Television.
Parents must remember not to be afraid to seek help and not to buy into the feeling that needing help is somehow a stigma or sign of weakness, said the panelists, most of whom represented the Bridges community support system in Milford and the Clifford Clifford Beers Clinic in New Haven.
“We feel strongly that asking for help is a sign of courage,” said Christine Lidz, pictured at top, clinical director of Bridges. Parents worrying that they would be somehow judged and found wanting “serves no purpose,” she said.
The panelists participated in the first of four CTV programs in a series meant to educate parents about children’s mental health. The others will begin in February, Shani said. Shani is the executive director of the One World Progressive Institute.
Shani asked the panel about the various signs that parents may see that may indicate a need for help, signs such as:
‚Ä¢ Changes in mood — such as irritability, sadness or anxiety;
• Changes in sleep patterns or appetite;
• Changes in behavior patterns in school, at home, or in peer relationships;
• Feelings of wanting to hurt self or others.
She said these signs could indicate normal teenage behavior or be an indicator for trouble and asked the panelists how parents can tell the difference.
“That’s the million-dollar question,” said Dawn M. Roy, coordinator of adolescent addiction/prevention services at Bridges. “I tell parents they have the hardest job on the planet,” she said.
Teens test boundaries, and that’s normal, she said. But if the behavior persists over a period of time or becomes extreme, then it’s time to seek help, she said. A child cutting him or herself is an example of behavior that merits immediate intervention.
There are many resources available, and calls to either Beers, Bridges, to the 211 statewide crisis number, or the 24-hour hotline at 1 – 888-979‑6884 are good places to start. But if there is danger, such as an assault, or if the parent feels truly threatened, “then the first call should be 911,” said Christine Montgomery, director of crisis and community-based services at the Beers Clinic.
The police might be a place to start even if the situation has not deteriorated into the danger zone, Lidz said. The area police departments have youth bureaus that may be able to help get the youngster into the appropriate program without putting the young person into the system.
Parents with reduced means or who are without health insurance should not delay calling for that reason, she said. “We have resources” such as Medicaid, the HUSKY program and a sliding scale of payments can often be worked out, she said. “I would never want concern about payments to stop people from calling,” she said.
“Our role is to explore what is working and not working,” Montgomery said. It is vital that all parties work together. Both Beers and Bridges have people who will go out to meet parents at their homes or in neutral sites such as libraries to discuss a potential problem.
A vitally important thing for families is “to communicate, communicate, communicate,” said Dr. Sandra Boltax-Stern, an adolescent psychiatrist.
Stresses reach both city and suburban families equally, the panelists said. Single-parent families and young parents who don’t feel competent in their child-raising exist in both places, they said. The city doesn’t have a monopoly on problems, they emphasized.