“Do you have faith in the American justice system after what happened to you?” a Wilbur Cross student asked James C. Tillman (pictured), who spent 18 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
Showing remarkable forgiveness for all those who had done him wrong, Tillman responded by praising modern science, and the work of the Innocence Project, for setting him free.
Tillman, a softspoken 45-year-old, was released from prison last June after DNA testing cleared him of rape charges. Tillman was just awarded $5 million from the state in compensation for what he went through. He doesn’t have to work, but devotes his time each week to traveling to high schools to speak.
Tillman’s talk at Wilbur Cross High School Friday focused less on the injustices of a system that robbed him of the prime years of his life, and more on keeping young people from ending up in jail. He told his story to a rapt audience of students in biology and social justice, as part of a series of events examining the justice system as part of the city’s Big Read program.
“I’m here because I love y’all,” Tillman told the crowd before relating his harrowing tale of captivity, faith and perseverance.
In 1988, a white woman picked Tillman’s face out of a photo lineup and accused him of raping her. (Tillman is African-American.) He maintained his innocence throughout the whole process of arrest, trial, and years of prison. Though he’d already landed in prison for assaulting a police officer, being called a “rapist” made things far worse.
“People look at you like you’re scum when you’re in there. They look down on you, like they want to hurt you,” said Tillman, in a soft, patient tone. “I have been attacked. They called me ‘rapist.’ … they charged me with the worst thing there is.”
“I was charged with kidnapping, and I felt like I was kidnapped by the state,” Tillman said.
At first, he was steeped in bitterness and anger. “I could only feel my own pain.” The days wore him down: “There’s no McDonald’s, no holding your girlfriend or boyfriend’s hand… no choosing the color for your jean outfit — you have to wear what they tell you to wear. After a while, it kicks in. You get tired of it.”
Convicted by jury, he was sentenced to 45 years in prison. It broke down his core beliefs: “I said there must not be a god if you let this happen to me. I gave up.”
Time passed. Then “one day, I just forgave everybody, from the bottom of my heart. I gave my life to the Lord.” He became a mentor for fellow inmates struggling to find hope. After the Innocence Project helped him reexamine evidence, clearing him of the charges and setting him free, Tillman remained without a twinge of bitterness.
“My message is about forgiveness… I’m not angry, I’m not bitter, ‘cause I’m free,” he said. “I could go anywhere. I can see the world, and it’s beautiful.”
Now on the outside, he’s spending a couple days a week talking to kids about his tale. “I want to talk to y’all, because I don’t want to see this happen to y’all… Whatever it is you’re thinking of doing, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth 30 years of your life.”
A Q & A focused on inequities in the criminal justice system. What needs to be changed about the prison system? someone asked. Abolish the death penalty, he replied with a calm patience that characterized his whole visit, because “We all make mistakes. … I know there’s people out there that’s been killed, that was innocent.” (Click on the PLAY arrow at the top of the story to watch part of his reply).
Tillman described sub-par medical care for his two leg surgeries. “Even the poorest person is better off” than someone who’s locked up, he said. Click on the PLAY arrow below to watch.
The speech hit home for Elijah Williams, a Cross sophomore. He said his older brother just got out of jail a day after Mother’s Day after serving three years for the same charge. “Everything [Tillman] said is what my dad tells me all the time. It’s right.”
“He really proved to us that the American justice system is by no means infallible,” said junior Torrese Ouellette (pictured at right) after the speech. Hearing about Tillman’s case “breeds skepticism in democracy in general,” said Ouellette. But he said he was also inspired to join the fight.
From Tillman, Ouellette learned “these injustices can be rectified with fortitude and diligence. When these injustices bring us down, we just have to face it.”