Markeshia Ricks Photo
Trans activists and allies gather on the Elm Street courthouse steps to remember Monday night.
Merlot: No more names.
Chardonnay Heather Charlene Merlot said she’s tired. Tired of the list of trans men and women that seems to grow longer with each Transgender Day of Remembrance.
“I’m tired of saying them,” she said. “Because I’m afraid and I’m scared that one day one of those names could be mine.”
That’s why she called on the nearly 50 people gathered Monday evening on the steps of the Elm Street courthouse in the glow of street and headlights to say, “No more.” No more names added to the list of the dead. No more days of only mourning.
“This should not be just a day of remembrance,” Merlot said. “One of the things we must do is change that ‘r’ to a recommitment and to resistance.”
“We as a community need to squad up,” she added. “I mean really squad up. We need to close ranks and come together and get rid of that ‘u’ in mourning and create a new morning for our community. A sunrise where those who wish to hate us know that if they attack one of us you attack all of us.”
Stamford Board Rep. Raven Matherne.
Around the world, transgender people and their allies gathered Monday to remember those killed by transphobic violence. In New Haven, the day of remembrance was commemorated with a rally on the courthouse steps and a march to the New Haven Pride Center, which along with the Party for Socialism and Liberation, hosted the event.
The rally on the court steps was a reminder to attendees that trans people aren’t fighting for their rights daily just out on the street but also in the U.S. justice system.
Merlot said she is often afraid that she will experience two deaths: a physical one and one that erases who she is. She said the death that erases her as a trans woman would happen by a reporter misgendering her and using her “dead” name, or the name she used before she identified as a trans woman.
“I’m afraid of the indifference of those who don’t understand,” she said. “I’m afraid of that and that’s why we mourn.”
Future social worker Nadine Ruff.
Artist and activist Jules Larson said that 2017 has been one of the deadliest on record for transgender people. She said she always thinks of a former boss named Adam to whom she first came out. Adam, who taught her how to organize and advocate for herself, died by suicide. Larson said on Transgender Day of Remembrance she mourns people like Adam, but also celebrates everyone who got up and went to work too.
“I want to remember every day that this life is very precious to me,” Larson said. “His life was very precious to me.”
Artist Jules Larson.
She pointed out that many of the trans men and women who have died violently have predominately been people of color. She encouraged attendees to remember the everyday victories.
“Remember the trans person who woke up today and went to a job that respected them,” she said. “I have a job where I am respected. I have health care and housing. I have been helped. New Haven is an amazing community and a very good example of how people should be treated.
“We need to fight on many fronts…fight for sex workers especially,” she added. “But think of the person who woke up today and fight for them because it means that you’re fighting for me.”
Nadine Ruff, a trans woman who first came to New Haven in 1994, said not many of her friends have lived to achieve what she has. She told the crowd that she was incarcerated before she came to New Haven. Today, she’s the founder and facilitator of a transgender support group Divinely You and working on a master’s degree in social work.
“Sometimes I question why I’m here,” she said. “But I think it was through the grace of a God that saw fit for me to be here to do work for the trans community.
“It’s important to support the trans community,” she added. “We’re just like anybody.”
Speakers noted that there have been the lows of national fights over the rights of transgender people to use bathrooms and the outright violence that kills people daily. And there have been victories like New Haven officials running anti-trans people out of the city and more recently the election of trans women and trans women across the country, including in Connecticut.
Raven Matherne is the first transgender lawmaker to be elected to the Stamford Board of Representatives . She attended New Haven’s Day of Remembrance. It was her first time at such an event since she came out as transgender back in March. She won her election the old-fashioned way, knocking on the doors of neighbors and asking for their vote.
It was an eye-opener for her she said.
“I didn’t realize the level of hate that still existed until I looked it in the frickin’ face,” she said.