Our Precious Matriarch Lilla Mae Holness, age 104, completed her earthly journey on Thursday, March 27, 2025 and went home to be with the Lord.
Lilly May was born at Grace New Haven Hospital on Oct. 19, 1920. She was the daughter of the late Joseph Johnson and Daisy Ellerbee-Johnson. At the time of her birth, Lilly’s maternal mother Daisy was ill, so Lilly was in entrusted to the care of her father Joseph’s close relative Lillian Copeland and her husband Charles Copeland who, with open arms, accepted and reared Lilla Mae as their beloved daughter.
Lilly May did not like the pronunciation and spelling of her name, so she changed it from Lilly May to Lilla Mae. Lilla Mae was educated in the New Haven Public School System where she received a certificate of excellence from the Department of Music. In 1939, she graduated from James Hillhouse High School where she enjoyed sports; her favorites were basketball, volley ball and bowling. Her hobbies included cooking, sewing, crocheting and knitting.
She was especially known for her beautiful gift-wrapping skill; the gifts were always carefully selected. Yet, what stood out was the beautiful way in which she so carefully decorated each present that it left a lasting impression on the recipient.
In 1942, Lilla Mae married Donald Chamberlain Holness, her only love. To their union two very active sons were born: Donald Chamberlain and Charles Eugene. Lilla Mae invested a lot of energy in raising her sons, and she was extremely proud of their successful careers with the New Haven Fire Department.
Lilla-Mae was a dedicated employee for more than forty years at the New Haven prestigious Malley Department Store where she worked as a supervisor in the retail department. She enjoyed her work and socializing with her coworkers. When the store closed in 1982, she was hired at Sears in Hamden, Conn., where she remained employed until her retirement.
Lilla Mae enjoyed life. She had a special circle of friends, church friends, and co-workers. For more than sixty years, she was a member of the Pokeno Club. They met monthly on Friday night at the assigned home to play Pokeno for pennies a pop. Following the game, they enjoyed a scrumptious fellowship meal with lively conversation and laughter. Pokeno players and family members looked forward to enjoying the delicious meals that she prepared. She was a connoisseur and consumer of good food. She was known for her macaroni salad, chicken salad, fried chicken, perfection salad, strawberry-pineapple Jello mold, strawberry short cake and her famous Rum Cake which was enjoyed by family and friends up and down the east coast from Connecticut to Georgia.
Lilla Mae loved to travel. Once a year, she and her friend Gladis planned a vacation to a place of interest; Canada was one of her favorite countries. She looked forward to the various Ellerbee Clan Reunions and celebrations. She also enjoyed traveling with her son and daughter-in-law in their motorhome to many different states, to NAARV rallies, and family gatherings in North Carolina and South Carolina.
Lilla Mae was the last of a generation of Matriarchs, women whose style of leadership and love of family gave her an unquestionable status within the Holness family in Connecticut and within the McLendon/Parker/Emery family. Her dress was conservative but stylish; her demeanor was quiet and firm, filled with expectations of proper conduct and behavior. With few words, she spoke volumes and set a standard for all who knew her. Mother, Grandmother, Grandma Holness, Mrs. Holness, Aunt Mae and Lilla Mae were all terms used to address and to show her respect and love.
Lilla Mae from birth grew up in Immanuel Missionary Baptist Church. Mrs. Copeland, her surrogate mother, was an active member of Immanuel Missionary Baptist Church, and Lilla Mae participated in all of the children’s programs. When she became of age, she was baptized. She joined the choir and the Glitter’s Club. She faithfully brought her two sons to church; they attended Sunday Worship and Sunday School, and she encouraged them to participate in church-related activities. Together they went on church-sponsored, interesting and adventurous bus trips. They still consider Immanuel Baptist Church their second church home.
Lilla Mae didn’t talk a lot about God and religion; instead, she read and gathered spiritual strength from her collection of prayers and other written materials that became a part of her serene devotion. She loved Immanuel Missionary Baptist Church, and for many years she and her daughter-in-law attended Immanuel’s Annual Pink Tea and other gatherings. She also loved Christian Tabernacle Baptist Church, where she received a lot of love from Pastor Keith A. King and the congregation. She remained faithful in her church attendance at Immanuel Missionary Baptist Church until her health status deteriorated. She continued to fellowship while at Whitney Manor with Immanuel members. Laura Davison and Diane Petaway visited her regularly, and she often received encouraging cards from Deacon Martha Walker.
Lilla Mae lived for more than thirty years in the Derby Avenue Berger Apartments where she actively participated in the establishment’s social events. She was a Democratic Representative for Ward 23 where she also served as a voter monitor during local, state and national elections. Her dedication to the betterment of the community was noted in the One Hundred Birthday Citation from the New Haven Board of Alderman and the proclamation from the City of New Haven. A wonderful article celebrating her “One Hundredth Birthday” was published on Nov. 6, 2020 in the New Haven Independent titled, “You Still Got It, Grandma Holness.” In 2021 due to failing health, Lilla Mae became a resident of Whitney Manor Health Care Center where she had been treated with tender care.
She leaves to cherish loving memories; two sons, Donald Chamberlain Holness, Jr., Charles Eugene Holness (Shelly); God-daughter Voleta Ferguson (Reggie); four grandchildren, Donald Holness, (Carlin), Crystal Emery Kerr (Michael), Bruce Emery, Bryan Emery; thirteen great-grandchildren, Donesha Jackson/Holness-Evans (Marquise), Devanae Holness, Josiah Holness, Robert Emery-Thomas, Nathaniel Emery-Faison, Monique Emery-King (Lawrence) Andrea Emery-Stallworth (Martell), Tierra Emery-Gardner (Tayman), Destiny Emery, Alexis Emery, Jacobi Emery, Jadda Emery, Bryan Emery, Jr., Zora Emery; twelve great-great grandchildren and five great-great-great grandchildren; one niece, Lynn Waters; a great nephew, Billy Waters, cousins and friends.
Lilla Mae was predeceased by her parents, Joseph and Daisy Johnson and Charles and Lillian Copeland; sister, Bernice Bowman (Clarence); and grandson, Robert Emery; great-grandson, Derrick Emery and great-great-great grandson, Bray’Lin Michelle.
A Celebration of Life will be held on Monday, April 7, 2025 at 11:00 AM at Immanuel Missionary Baptist Church, 1324 Chapel St., New Haven, CT 06511. Relatives and friends may call from 10:00 to 11:00 AM at the church. Entombment will follow in Beaverdale Memorial Park Mausoleum. To leave a message of comfort for the family, please visit www.hkhfuneralservices.com